One day when we were still getting to know each other (we’d barely dating at this point in time!), we went to a Thai restaurant. It was one of N’s family’s favorite spots, but being from a small town, I hadn’t had much Thai food in my life.
We sat down, and I started pondering the menu (Ok, not exactly . . . I was a bit distracted by the intriguing man in front of me! But I did try with the menu!). Finally, I went for the easy out, “What do you get here?”
N immediately answered, “Thai basil chicken. It has chicken, basil, and peppers over rice. A bit spicy, but I think you’d like it.” It sounded good to me, and we decided to split the dish.
There was something magical about that dish of basil chicken! Spooning rice out of the dish in front of us and taking turns ladling out the main course, we fell into an easy ritual of eating, talking, and serving (ourselves and each other). It was one of those special moments you don’t really realize when you’re in it but later look back on and remember fondly.
And the practice stuck. To this day when we go out to eat, N and I almost always split a dish rather than get our own!
— M
As it turns out, there’s research to support this practice: a recent study by Kaitlin Woolley and Ayelet Fishbach at the University of Chicago found that eating the same food as our partner can actually build trust, facilitate cooperation, and help resolve conflicts. Who knew?!
— N