Relationships are fun — improving them should be too
We’re not entirely sure how this tradition started, or which of us came up with the idea, but we know it began sometime when we were dating. And it’s become a staple in our household ever since — the coffee-Scotch date. Here’s some background information: …
“M found you a pin on Pinterest!” It’s M’s equivalent of the kissy face, which never fails to cheer me up. Whenever she finds a cute picture of a giraffe—my favorite animal based on the classic Graco commercial featuring the line “Giraffes eat cookies!”—on Pinterest, she …
It was late in the evening on a Monday. N had been teaching at a local high school for 8+ hours, and, while elated at his students’ progress, he was exhausted. As we settled in to watch some TV, he decided to make apple cider from our Keurig machine.
I was also pretty tired after a long day of work, so I vaguely registered as he got up, filled the keurig with water, added the cider, and set it to brew. Then he came back to the couch, and we started our show. I then remember hearing the tell-tale sign of hot deliciousness approaching as the keurig began to dispense, and I happened to look over just at that moment.
To my surprise/horror, there was apple cider running all over our kitchen! I leapt up and grabbed some paper towels to stop the onslaught of sticky liquid and realized the root of the problem — there was no mug. In his sleepy state, my then-boyfriend had entirely forgotten to grab a mug for his warm drink.
Now, I could have gotten upset at him, reasonably even, since I now needed to clean up the kitchen. And he was staring at me and the Keurig with eyes wide, repeating “I’m sorry” over and over. But you know what? Instead of being angry, I felt bad — my sweet, tired guy now needed to wait longer for his rewarding hot drink after a long day’s work! I also found it pretty funny since N’s usually the one with everything together and I’m the one running around like a chicken with my head cut off! 😉
With a little laugh, I told him not to worry about it and set about mopping up the last of the spilled cider and starting a second cup (this time with a mug in place!). When it was ready, I brought it over to N, and we had a wonderful, relaxing rest of the evening.
— M
Our honeymoon was full of new and exciting adventures: parasailing, trapezing, cuddling a koala, cliff jumping, rock sliding, and diving the Great Barrier Reef. It was also exciting simply to walk around a new city with my new wife in this new phase of life. …
Very early in our relationship (probably just a couple months into dating), I was over at N’s house, and he handed me a little box. “What’s this?” I asked, equal parts curious and excited. “Just open it,” he replied. Ok, no need to tell me …
One day when we were still getting to know each other (we’d barely dating at this point in time!), we went to a Thai restaurant. It was one of N’s family’s favorite spots, but being from a small town, I hadn’t had much Thai food in my life.
We sat down, and I started pondering the menu (Ok, not exactly . . . I was a bit distracted by the intriguing man in front of me! But I did try with the menu!). Finally, I went for the easy out, “What do you get here?”
N immediately answered, “Thai basil chicken. It has chicken, basil, and peppers over rice. A bit spicy, but I think you’d like it.” It sounded good to me, and we decided to split the dish.
There was something magical about that dish of basil chicken! Spooning rice out of the dish in front of us and taking turns ladling out the main course, we fell into an easy ritual of eating, talking, and serving (ourselves and each other). It was one of those special moments you don’t really realize when you’re in it but later look back on and remember fondly.
And the practice stuck. To this day when we go out to eat, N and I almost always split a dish rather than get our own!
— M
As it turns out, there’s research to support this practice: a recent study by Kaitlin Woolley and Ayelet Fishbach at the University of Chicago found that eating the same food as our partner can actually build trust, facilitate cooperation, and help resolve conflicts. Who knew?!
— N
After our honeymoon, I started a new job up in the city. The company, projects, and people were all great; however, I was having trouble adjusting. First, we live about an hour south of the city, so I need to take the train to and …